Promises, Promises.

You promise me "tomorrow." Honey, "tomorrow" was fucking yesterday. I see you today, you completely disregard my existance. Not even a "hi" or a "how are you?"...nothing. Silence. And you leave. Without saying a word. I know that's the way we normally are, but after completely standing me up the other night? You should at least be somewhat cordial. What would you do if I had done that to you? You would've been pissed. I know it. I've tried it before. And it never works because I have no self-discipline and I believe you've finally realized that. I think you know that no matter how hard I try, I just won't be able to say "no." (Except when it comes to certain things.) I'm just tired of always being an object. I am a person, I have feelings, and you should probably acknowledge that sometimes. I'd like to feel like I'm human.

I'm saddened by all of this too. How could I have let this happen to myself? Why did I let myself get wrapped up in this? I can say wholeheartedly that I am not dependent on him for anything at all. I couldn't give two shits about this guy. I think most of this is sheer and utter disappointment in myself. I used to be stronger than this and now I've given it all up. I've let down my guard and let someone in who I really shouldn't even be giving the time of day! There are so many better guys out there for me and I'm just letting this one string me along for the ride just because I'm a slut that wants "instant gratification." And I KNEW that gratification wouldn't come without a cost. I KNEW it. But I said "fuck it" and did it anyway, because I'm a dumb ass.

Promises, promises...no matter what, they're always broken. Whether they're between two people or you and yourself, they're always broken.