Guilt Tripping.

What is this sudden feeling of guilt sweeping over me? What the fuck is up with this? I do not belong to him. I am not his. He is not mine. He and I? We aren't anything. We aren't even really friends. I don't know what we are, but we're not much of anything.

So why the hell do I feel guilty about what happened Saturday night? Saturday night was Saturday night. I did what I did and I'm not taking it back. (Although Thursday morning should be, erm, interesting.) I didn't feel guilty the last time it happened. I didn't feel guilty at all.

I don't want to see him. I don't know why I don't. Yet, I know I'm going over there tonight, he and I have already discussed it and arrangements have already been made. Even though it's about twenty-five degrees outside. I feel bad about Saturday. Should I feel bad about Saturday? No, I don't think so. I mean, he and I aren't even together. We aren't a couple. We aren't exclusive. He can do what he wants and I can do what I want and it's an open arrangement. It's not much of anything. It's casual. So why am I feeling this weird guilt that just won't go away?!

Maybe my conscience is finally catching up to me. I mean, it's only been missing in action all semester. Of COURSE it'll show up right before finals week.