As Time Goes By.

I just realized what time of year it is. It's Christmas time again. I remember last year, right about this time, I was frantically filling out college applications and fighting with my mother about how long I had put them off. I was finishing up a few last minute projects, and getting prepared for the inevitable-over-Winter-Break homework that was always assigned.

Just one year later, I'm preparing myself for finals week. I got accepted to colleges, I ended up making a bad college decision, choosing to come to the University at Albany, and have changed so much as a person since then.

Since coming to college, I've become that girl I never thought I'd be. Never. People in my life have come and gone, and I barely recognize the girl I've become.

My roommate said something to me the other day that really knocked this change home. I was talking to a friend about something I did last week and she says to me "What happened to my innocent roommate?"

And I couldn't answer. I don't know where she's gone. I don't know what happened to me. I've changed, and honestly, I don't know if I like the person I've become. I used to be so wholesome and "straight-edge" I guess you could call it. I never drank, I barely knew what "hooking up" was, let alone understood the concept of a "friend with benefits" or a "booty call." And yet, here I am, doing all of those things. I had never seen the inside of a night club, had no idea that I was able to illegally purchase alcohol (depending on what night it is).The idea of sex scared me. Literally, frightened me.

I've become more politically active and more comfortable in my own skin, thanks to Model UN and countless other interviews I've given since the October 1st decision to "deactivate" the five academic programs here at the University (French, Italian, Russian, Classics, and Theatre). I have the confidence I never even dreamed of. I've gotten myself a spot on the Executive Board of my favorite on-campus group, the College Democrats, by sheer determination.

I just wish that I could've kept the positive and stayed away from the negative... There are some things I've become that I really wish I didn't...