I need to just...I don't even know. I need to do something to get my mind off of everything. There's just too much going on in my head right now. Far too much. Between the thinking I'm in l-o-v-e with a boy that can't even acknowledge my existence outside of our respective bedrooms, to being told I'm a lesbian even though I'm oh-so-clearly not (although, this is not the first time this has happened and I don't even understand why exactly it keeps happening), to being texted by this creeper who obviously wants me for no reason at all and I can't seem to state that I'm not interested because I am a decent human being; or I'm just ridiculous.

My thoughts at the moment on the boy issue: If I were really in l-o-v-e with him, I could've said hello to him when I saw him today. I could've had the cahones to walk up to him and start a conversation. I could've just asked him how his day was going and gone on my merry little way. But no. I couldn't do it. I was afraid. And something keeps telling me that I'm going to make a mistake soon. Something tells me that I'm going to accidentally tell him the way that I may or may not feel. And that is something I am not mentally prepared to deal with. I discussed this at length with a friend today and I know I'm not ready to tell him. I know within my heart that he doesn't feel the same way about me, although that might be changing seeing as yesterday he asked about where I would be living and told me where he was thinking about living next year; almost as if he expects "us" to continue. Which I wouldn't complain about. I mean, we are what we are. And something is better than nothing is what I have to say about it. I won't complain, at least every Monday or Tuesday night I get a little bit of pleasure. Sometimes not enough, but at least it's some. And it makes me smile. And that's really all I can ask for at this point. Maybe I'll find someone I'd actually be willing to date properly. For now, I've got what I've got (it doesn't really have a label anymore) and I'm happy.

My thoughts on the lesbian issue: Honestly, I don't understand it and it bothers me. I swear, this is not the first time someone has told me they thought I was a lesbian. If I were, I'd be proud of it, but being a straight woman it's a little insulting. ("Insulting" is not the word I want to be using due to its extremely negative connotation, but I honestly cannot think of a better word.)

My thoughts on the creeper: I just can't deal with it. I have nothing more to say on this matter.

And now I'm just going to listen to Dave Matthews on repeat.