Scheduling.

He says we're getting together on Monday night. Oh, cool. Monday night. That's less than a week from now. That's less than a week for these sutures in my mouth to heal. Awesome.

Since when did we start actually scheduling things? Since when did I have to budget time for this? Since when? Do you have a claim on me? No. What if I had something better to do Monday night?! What if I've already made plans? (Not that I have.)

You know I've had surgery. You know I might not be completely healed. I'm not looking forward to potentially letting you down. If I have to, I'll just say I'm "tired" and postpone. After all, I deserve some independence And you know, I'll definitely make it worth your while. It always is. It isn't always for me. I wish you knew how to better satisfy me. I wish you actually cared about what actually satisfied me.

Someday, you'll know how I feel about this. Someday you'll see.