He is the heartbreak.

"You gotta promise me hearts won't break and end up like before." You said yesterday you wanted to see me either today or tomorrow. I haven't heard from you today. You know, the basorexia hasn't gone away. I still long to have your lips pressed softly next to mine and your hands around my waist. I miss the days where we could lie in bed together, even if it was just for a little while, your head placed on my chest.

What happened to you possibly spending a night here with me? What happened to that? You know I wanted it. I would've enjoyed it. It would've been like something more conventional, which is what I've wanted for us since the start. I mean, I'm not saying we have to ~date~ or anything, but it'd be nice to have something a little more normal. I just don't know if I could handle a relationship with you. I told the other boy I couldn't do it with him. Could it be easier if I tried with you? I mean, you live about a ten minute walk from me, it's not far. It's not like it's four hours by train like the last one. But I'm afraid of ruining our thing if I mention this too soon. Especially because that always happens to me. I always mention things too soon, even though they could be what I've always wanted. Last semester, I ruined a really solid friendship with a boy over the fact that he was everything I could've ever wanted. Sometimes I think about him and realize that, yeah, he really is everything. He's charming and funny and smart and everything. He's really everything. I haven't spoken to him (like I said, I completely ruined our friendship) but I remember the days when I still did and frankly, it makes me sad.

I know you won't call me for Valentine's Day. As much as I might want you to. Maybe you'll surprise me, but I doubt it. I mean, we're not the romantic type. I'd love for you to prove me wrong though. Could you, for once, just be a normal boyfriend kind and do something nice for me? After all, I've been awfully good to you...